The festival of life (FOL) is London’s equivalent of Holy Ghost night
- the monthly gathering of Christians in Nigeria, irrespective of
denominations, at the redeemed Christian church camp to offer prayers
and praises to God. Although the FOL is held twice a year at the Excel
centre in East London, it is already turning into a ritual similar to
the one at home. The turnout is always massive and the passion generated
at the event is just typical of any gathering of devoted Nigerian
Christians.
Politicians, clergymen from the Church of England, and other
non-governmental organizations have started to associate very closely
with this event. This somehow underscores the socio-political
significance of the gathering. The former mayor of London, Ken
Livingstone, once used the occasion to campaign during an election
period and was given a tacit endorsement by the Nigerian churches but
still lost anyway. Yes, he lost, partly because the Nigerian population
in London is hardly significant to guarantee him any success at the
polls. Besides that, the British electorate are not as dumb as those in
Nigeria. That statement is actually my own hypothesis.
According to official statistics released in US, Nigerians are
rated amongst the most highly educated foreigners. It is likely to be
the same in the United Kingdom. But we are easily one of the most stupid
also. We might be one of the most educated but the level of ignorance
on display by even the educated lot is so amazing that I don’t think
anything can salvage the country from her destined self-destruction. The
horrible smell of our collective stupidity has reached high heavens and
I think God can no longer stand the stench and that probably explains
the type of leadership in every sphere of our lives. I know I have a lot
of explanations to give for this generalization.
Wait! I don’t think I need to go far before getting evidence to
back up my hypothesis on our collective stupidity. For example, if less
than one million rogues are able to suppress the will and aspirations of
over one hundred and forty-nine million people, what better explanation
can one give for such a scenario? Well, I trust Nigerians they will
give loads of reasons. But, I don’t really care about the reasons. I am
only stating a fact.
For a start, my intention is not to discuss why the few stupid
rogues are able to overwhelm the huge majority and push them into a
state of unbelievable docility. Other people can talk about that. I am
more concerned about the stupid one hundred and forty–nine million who
believed that it is God’s will for the majority to live in abject
poverty in the midst of plenty.
There was even a poll conducted not too long ago that gave
justification to our stupidity, which gave further credence to my
hypothesis. The poll claimed that we are the happiest people on earth.
Jesus Christ! There is nothing more sinister than such ridicule. How
could any group of people stay happy when they are in pitch darkness for
twenty out of twenty-four hours in a day? Infant and maternal mortality
rate is continuously one of the highest in the world. And of course
life expectancy is about forty-five years for male. This means that if
you are forty five, male and reading this article, you are one of the
lucky few who are still alive because most of your mates who could not
leave the country are already dead, and you are likely to be dead before
the end of the week either through a ghastly motor accident on those
death-traps called roads, or through ingestion of fake drugs or one
equally stupid and mad police man would simply blow your brains out and
nothing will happen. Anyway, never mind; just be happy, you are just
another stupid Nigerian.
As I mentioned briefly earlier, one of the most compelling
evidence of our level of stupidity can be seen in our attitude to
religion. It is always God’s will. If Ya’Ardua suddenly drops dead
tomorrow, as he likely would eventually anyway, (renal failure is a
terminal ailment, and only transplant and not his stupid faith in some
miracle can save him) and a few morons decided that Good-luck Jonathan
is not from the North and therefore cannot become the next president, it
would simply be God’s will. We would all write articles and scream on
the pages of newspaper about the unconstitutionality of the decision but
nothing would happen. We are clowns in Nigeria and the whole world is
laughing at us. We all know that clowns act stupidly to make children
laugh. So you can see that my hypothesis will eventually take shape.
Therefore, I daresay that religion will remain one of the
greatest impediments to our greatness in Nigeria. Alternatively, if the
influence of religion is effectively utilized it can actually be a
useful tool for development.
Take a look at the North where Islam is the dominant religion.
The wretched religious clerics in that part of the country can easily
mobilize more than five million street urchins to wreck havoc on all
Igbo traders because an unidentified person used a torn page from the
Quran to wipe his bum after defecating. Has anyone ever wondered why it
was always the Igbos? Meanwhile, they have never ever organised a
peaceful rally to express their displeasure at the lack of development
in the area.
The North is probably only second to the Stone Age in terms of
human capital development. Even those in that age used their brains to
fabricate sophisticated tools for hunting purposes. And then the joke of
the century is when Forbes magazine suddenly came up with the story
that the only billionaire from Nigeria is actually from that part of the
country. Well, he is not the government so what is he supposed to do? I
beg to differ. This guy has one of the most potent clouts in any
government in Nigeria. He can advocate and strive to see that something
is done. Bill Gates has used billions of dollars of his money to fight
malaria. There is no malaria in America but it kills millions of
children in Africa every year.
Christianity is the fastest growing industry in the southern part
of the country. The pastors are growing fat while the congregation are
burdened by the harsh economic conditions. All the rogues in government
are elders in one church or the other. The churches are like second
homes to looters of the treasury. They are chairmen or chairpersons of
one church building committee or the other. The pastors are always
saying special prayers for them and have no scruples about taking their
stolen money.
The churches now buy private jets for their chief executive
officers (oh sorry, pastor) and are shameless enough to claim that it is
for evangelism. Meanwhile, half the congregation of those churches live
on less than $1,000 in a year while most of the youth are jobless. Yes,
the pastors are not the ones to provide jobs; but how many times have
they criticised the government for not creating those jobs? How many
times have they told them that they cannot continue to loot the
treasuries and then come around to the house of God to make some bogus
claims of God’s blessings in their lives?
During the last American election, religious leaders were very
vocal in their criticism of one government policy or the other. They do
not keep quiet and say it is God’s will. Barack Obama’s pastor, Reverend
Wright, was so vocal about his criticism of America’s racial divide
that he became a big threat to his election prospect. That is the job of
a pastor- saying the truth as it is, and not only collecting tithes and
junketing about in private jets in the name of evangelism.
Pastor Tunde Bakare is the only pastor that I respect in Nigeria.
He told Obasanjo to his face that he is evil. That is a real man of
God. I worship with RCCG but not impressed that all manner of past and
present rogue governors and ministers tend to associate with the
overseer. They are always present at the Holy Ghost nights. They have
probably repented and God has forgiven them and they are free to enjoy
the loot till they die. A thief is a thief. I don’t care if God has
forgiven them. What manner of forgiveness is that anyway? How about the
thousands that died on the roads that he refused to tar? How about the
thousands of kids that died because there was no free Medicare?
The Yorubas of South-West are the most pathetic. They are quick
to boast of their education and sophistication. Meanwhile, Adedibu and
Obasanjo were the best they could come up with as national leaders. The
former was the head of street urchins while the latter has a reputation
for sleeping with his children’s wives.
I am actually fed up discussing and writing articles about our
thieving leaders. They will never change anyway, at least not through
our lengthy articles or criticism. If you believed that Ya’Ardua and his
PDP cohorts will not rig 2011 election, then you are even more stupid
than an average Nigerian. Your own stupidity is extra-terrestrial. If
you believed that the electoral reform would lead anywhere, I despise
your sense of reasoning. If anyone believes that Nigeria will wobble and
fumble (a la Fanny Amun!) into greatness, then I leave you alone to
perish as a nonentity who only came to this world to look at Eko Bridge.
(Or London bridge)
The Igbos and the Ijaws are probably the ones that have been most
rebellious, the least religious and hence the least stupid. Maybe that
is where the hopes of Nigeria lie. They would never accept that
something is the will of God simply because somebody said so. They are
difficult to subjugate and that is one of the reasons there was a civil
war in the first place. Ojukwu remains a true hero. Why would some group
of murderers continue to kill your people over some flimsy excuses? If I
was an Igbo, I would be a low-life not to fight under those
circumstances. He fought for what he believed in and the Igbo people
followed him because they are not stupid like my people, the Yorubas.
Although they lost the war and millions of lives were lost, but I know
that they live to fight another day as long as some people continue to
deter the progress of others.
The Ijaws have taken over the struggle and though there have been
some criminality in the struggle, that is not unexpected, but by and
large they have shown that people’s destiny is in their own hands and
God’s will has nothing to do with it.
Yar’Adua and the looters of the treasury, both at the federal and
state level, have started to panic as MEND cripples the oil industry.
MEND, a ragtag bunch of militias have exposed the weakness of the
Nigerian government. They quickly and with lightening speed offered them
amnesty. They knew if there is no more oil, there wouldn’t be any
Nigeria. They planned to kill twenty million Ijaws to satisfy the lust
and cravings of those vampires in Abuja.
Nigeria cannot continue to be the butt of jokes in the world. We
cannot continue to believe that everything is the will of God. It is not
God’s will to lack the basic things of life, and certainly not his will
that our children should still be dying from malaria because there are
no good hospitals. Untimely death from accident on death traps called
road is not the will of God. All these things are the creations of the
rogues amongst us and we have aided and abetted their actions because we
have kept silent and didn’t act. Our lack of action is construed as
acceptability; we are therefore very stupid collectively.
