I wrote a book entitled; Why Christians Won’t Go to Heaven. Some
Christians complained my book is too absolute. They said I should have
written: “Why Some Christians Won’t Go to Heaven.” No, I replied. I mean
no Christian will go to heaven. Christianity is not a criterion for
heaven. Last week, I wrote an article entitled “Christians Make
Terri-ble Husbands.” Some self-righteous Christian husbands shot back
saying I should have said: “Some Christians Make Terrible
Husbands.” No! No! No! I mean “all Christian husbands.”
God’s prophetic word is appropriately exp-ressed in absolute terms.
Jesus says: “The sons of the kingdom will be cast out into outer
darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” (Matthew 8:12).
He does not say “some of the sons of the kingdom.”
Option of divorce
Man specializes in turning the God’s truth into a lie. Take, for
example, the question of divorce. Moses knew God is against divorce.
Nevertheless, he permitted the Israelites to divorce their wives. What
gave Moses such audacity? Jesus said: “Moses, because of the hardness of
your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the
beginning it was not so. And I say to you, who-ever divorces his wife,
except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery;
and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew
19:9).
God’s command on the question of divorce is absolute; but man turned
it into a relative comm-and. When the disciples discovered God is
absolutely against divorce, they replied: “If such is the case of the
man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matthew 19:-10). In
short, they would rather not marry than obey God in marriage. But if we
don’t marry, we are confronted with another absolute commandment. We
must not have sex out-side of marriage. What is the way out? Sin!
Relative marriages
Most Christians contract relative marriages even though the marriage
covenant is couch-ed in absolute terms. When we say: “for better, for
worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health;” we are
speaking absolutely and not relatively. Nevertheless, we retain the
option of divorce if things get worse or poorer. When we quarrel one
year down the road, we play the divorce card. But if divorce were an
option in God’s plan for marriage, he would not have asked Hosea to
marry a prostitute. As to be expected, Hosea’s prostitute wife was
unfaithful to him. She even had children by other men. Nevertheless,
divorce was not an option for Hosea.
In short, the Christian marriage has become a farce. We talk the talk
but don’t walk the walk. We make the absolute commitment, even before
God, knowing full well we have no intention of keeping it
absolutely. We make the commitment to be faithful; “forsaking all
others,” but have no qualms whatsoever about having affairs. We even
have one or two children out of wedlock. We promise to love and to
cherish, yet we are not averse to beating up our wives, sometimes to
the point of hospitalization. No wonder then that the Christian marriage
is no longer till death do us part. It is now till divorce do us part.
It is till problems do us part; or till economic adversity do us part;
or till the bond-woman do us part.
As usual, Jesus foresaw all this hypocrisy. He would not have us
deceive ourselves that by signing a legal agreement, or by going before a
pastor and a church, that makes our marriage binding . Precisely
because we choose to swear the oath of marriage, that implies we are not
trustworthy and cannot trust others. In the scriptures, marriages were
not determined by oaths, but by sexual intercourse.
Jesus says: “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You
shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.’ But I
say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s
throne; nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for
it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you swear by your head,
because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your ‘Yes’ be
‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the
evil one.” (Matthew 5:33-37).
Rationalizing absolutes
Christians specialize in converting God’s absolutes to man’s
relatives. A famous Nigerian pastor is divorced from his wife. He then
remarried a divorced woman. Nevertheless, he told his congregation that
“the Holy Spirit” ministered to him that his new wife, Stephanie, has
never been married before. Apparently, the Stephanie who was married
before is dead and this newly-married Stephanie is born again. So old
things are passed away, (including her previous marriage), behold, all
things are become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17). Thank God for Paul.
Paul’s double-minded scriptures are always available for those
inclined to contradict Jesus. Sometimes, Paulinists lose complete sight
of Jesus. When you quote Jesus to them, they accuse you of heresy. One
pastor with a vested interest said forbidding a Christian to remarry
because he is divorced is a doctrine of demons. Where does he get this
from? Where else but from Paul? Paul says: “The Spirit expressly says
that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to
deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy,
having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, forbidding to
marry.” (1 Timothy 4:1-3).
When queried by a Vanguard journalist about his remarriage after
divorce, Pastor Chris Okotie of Household of God, Lagos had this to say:
“Some argue that the bible says you must remain unmarried for as long
as your spouse is alive… The bible doesn’t say so. It doesn’t say so. I
think a lot of people don’t study the Word of God enough. There is a
difference be-tween a man who marries a woman and the woman leaves him
and the one that divorces. There are so many people who are parading
themselves as preachers of the scriptures who don’t know the bible
enough, particularly in the area of marriage.”
Absolute marriage
However, marriage is God’s institution. It is not man-made. God’s
marriage plan is absolute; there is no divorce. It is till death do us
part. Indeed, everything about God’s concept of marriage is
absolute. God’s absolute marriage has one prototype. It is between Adam
and Eve; it is not between Adam and Steve.
Under what circumstances is it lawful for a man to hate his wife?
Under absolutely no circumstances! Under what circumstances is it lawful
for a man to beat his wife or for a wife to slap her husband? Under
absolutely no circumstances! Under what circumstances is it lawful for a
husband or a wife to commit adultery? Under absolutely no
circumstances! Under what circumstances is it lawful for a husband and
wife to abuse one another? Under absolutely no circumstances! Under what
circumstances is it lawful for a husband and wife to deceive one
another? Under absolutely no circumstances!
Under what circumstances is it lawful for a husband to kiss his wife? Under absolutely all circumstances!
By Femi Aribisala
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